Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Final Fantasy cosplayers that ruined GamerTotoy's childhood

Despite its recent decline in quality, the Final Fantasy series of video games holds a special place in my heart. I've been toying with the joystick since the early days of Super Mario Bros. and Megaman, but it was Final Fantasy VIII that incited my passion for gaming. From there, I got my hands on everything FF and had a blast until the past few years. However, there are insensitive bastards who somehow thought they should desecrate my childhood by obscuring wonderful memories with appalling, vomit-inducing cosplay of my beloved FF characters. The fuckers deserve credit for their succesful efforts, so here's the hall of shame just for them.

I don't know what this guy is trying to pull. A nigger Zell hiding under an umbrella. Why would you want to be that way? Don't you have bigger dreams in life?

Okay, so Kiros was obviously gay for Laguna, but the dual-wielding dude wasn't THIS gay. It's like Hard Gay equipped himself with a couple of cardboard spatulas and forgot to reveal his tight pants. Clearly not a pretty sight.

When I think about it, it's kinda sad that no one cosplays as Zidane because he's a midget from a less popular (among Filipinos at least) FF installment. After seeing this epic failure of an attempt, though, I learned not to wish for potentially horrible things.

Edea was evil but she was also freaking hot. She had those voluptuous tits that you'd want to suck like a baby all day. Beneath her flashy sorceress get-up was a lovely lady who digs old guys with glasses. Edea wasn't so... scary.

Guess what FF character this is. You probably can't. Hailing from a parade of losers (goth themed prom as far as I can tell) is a rotund woman whose Yuna wedding costume can only be similar to the real thing if the viewer is half retard, half imbecile.

Notwithstanding the fact that this douchebag looks really stupid, the real kicker is his given reason for why he chose to dress up as Seymour. "Nobody has done this character before and I find the costume as well as the character to fit me so I tried it," he said. I don't see the kick-ass politician part but he does emit the psycho molester vibe.

Kihmari Ronso strong warrior. Kihmari wack people in the head with a spear to protect lady Yuna. Kihmari powerful and muscular. Kihmari not blue-skinned gay Simba incarnation with wings and fabulous hair. I cry when Kihmari looks like mascot that gets bullied by children.

Just because Squall's an annoying emo kid with too many puberty issues doesn't mean you should make him look worse by depicting him in such a morbid photograph. Also, keep in mind that the scar and jacket don't turn anyone into FF8's troubled protagonist.

Posing as athletic sports superstar Tidus is an apparent long-time victim of the terrible swine flu. Someone give him steroids, quick!

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